Fondue for Two: Guest Star, Blaine Anderson
by Bracelets
Summary: Blaine is faced with the full force of Brittney's "intelligence" with out the help of any New Directions!    ps. This isnt my best work.  Real stories are on the way. Just had to get this out of my head so I could get out of my rut.


Author's note:

1.) I do not own, Glee, Blaine Anderson, Brittney Peirce, Lord Tubbington, or fondue (although I really wish I did cause fondue sounds REALLY good right now)

2.) I love Brittney and her… different (yeah, that's a good word) personality.

3.) I really wanted Brittney to interview Blaine without Kurt cause all I ever see is Klaine interviews and I'm like "wtf? Why are they attached at the hip?" And so Blaine is now faced with the full force of Brittney's "intelligence" without the assistance of anyone.

4.)I also felt that Lord Tubbington isn't mentioned enough in the show. What about the many adventures of Lord Tubbington and Charity? They could have their own show! It would be great!

5.)^^ Possible fanfiction, I think so!

6.)_Brittney is Italicized_ and **Blaine is Bold **and Lord Tubbington is Underlined. It may be a little confusing to follow, I'm just too lazy to go through and make it more dialog like. I apologize for the confusion.

7.)Ps. This has no plot what so ever. My brain just went into Brittney mode and things kinda just happen.

8.) This is just something that's been running around in my head for like 2 weeks O.o I had to get it out. I'm currently working on a real story that actually has a plot (unlike this "thing") I'm not particularly very proud of this one, I just had to put it in words or my head was gonna explode. Please excuse the horribleness that is this one-shot. I promise a real story in a week or so *pinky swear*

9.)One last thing, I was really surprised at the number of people who read Eyes! It made my day! You guys should start a business of day making. I would so be your number one customer. And thank you for all the sweet reviews. Constructive criticism is a good thing I'd like to thank the academy, for teaching me how to write. But in all seriousness, I really would like to thank Wolf Princess girl for writing me my first review. I honestly started freaking out! I was like a little fan girl meeting Chris Colfer. I started jumping up and down and screaming like a little girl. My mom thought someone died haha! Wolf Princess girl, I will write a baby Kurtsie fanfiction JUST FOR YOU! xD

10.)AHHHH! ATTACK OF THE RAMBLING AUTHOR'S NOTE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

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><p><em><strong>Fondue for two: Blaine Anderson Addition<strong>_

_Hello and welcome to Fondue for two! With your host, Lord Tubbington._

Meow

**How can a cat be a talk show host?**

_Lord Tubbington is very smart! He just doesn't speak Humanese. That's why I'm here._

Meow

**Ummm…. Oooookay….?**

_Anyways, Blaine please tell the audience your name._

**I'm Blaine Anderson….**

_ANDERSON? I thought you were Blaine Warbler! I don't know any Blaine Anderson! Lord Tubbington! There's a stranger in our house!_

HISSSSSSS!

**Brittney, you know me. I'm Kurt's boyfriend. Warblers are birds, honey.**

_You're a bird! That's so cool! Can you fly?_

**Britt, I'm not a bird. The Warblers is the acapella group I'm in.**

_If you're not a bird, does that mean you're a dolphin? Cause, Kurtsie likes dolphins, that's why we broke up. Oh! And Lord Tubbington wants to know what acapella is? Is it like Mr. Shue's acafellas where they tried to rap? Cause that was weird._

Meow

**Okay, Britt, slow down. 1.) No I am not a bird, or a dolphin. 2.) Kurt never told me he liked dolphins, or dated you for that matter. 3.) Acapella is without music.**

_If you're not a dolphin, how are you supposed to make dolphin babies with Kurt? He's going to be so disappointed. And yeah me and Kurtie boo dated. Being the nice person he is, he let me keep my perfect record, and his hands were soo soft!_

**Perfect record?**

_Oh yeah, my make out record. I've made out with every guy at McKinley, Santana, and even Lord Tubbington (shh, Lord Tubbington isn't very good, don't tell him). Kurtsie went all shark on us one week and started dressing weird. I'd have to say LumberJack Kurt was pretty hot though._

Meow!

_Shh Lord Tubbington! I wasn't talking about you! I was talking about another cat!_

Meow!

_No I'm not cheating on you! We agreed with Santana and Artie that we would share, that's what best friends do. Now shh and let Loverboy here talk._

Meow

**Loverboy? Shark? LumberJack? What are you talking about? And did you just have an argument with a cat?**

_Mr. Blaine Anderson-Dolphin-Bird, I believe Lord Tubbington is the one asking the questions. Please continue, Lord Tubbington._

Meow.

_That's Catenese for "Yeah!"_

**Brittney, may I ask why Lord Tubbington is the host?**

_We made a deal. He would stop reading my diary if I let him host Fondue for Two._

Meow.

**Ummmm…..**

_Next question! Did you know the square root of four is rainbows?_

**Who told you that?**

_My math teacher. I just assumed the big F meant Fantastic, or Fabulous, or Fish._

**What's with you and fish?**

_What do you mean? Lord Tubbington clearly isn't a fish!_

Meow!

**It's just that you said Kurt likes Dolphins, and one day he was a Shark, and now you think F means fish.**

_It's all true! In fact my little Kurtsie IS a dolphin! You didn't know that? I thought you were his boyfriend!_

Meow.

**Umm, Britt. Kurt's not a dolphin. He's just a boy.**

_Yesssss! A boy who likes boys! Dolphin! _

Meow!

_Lord Tubbington, he doesn't speak Catenese! Let me explain it._

**Go for it.**

_So Kurt, he likes boys._

**Yes.**

_You like boys._

**Yes.**

_Artie likes girls._

**Yes.**

_Artie is a shark._

**Okay, you lost me.**

_No I didn't, you're right here! Now let me finish._

…**.**

_Sharks are boys that like girls. Dolphins are boys that like boys._

**How did you come up with that?**

_Dolphins are just gay sharks, you know?_

**Oooooh!**

Meow!

**Shut up Lord Tubbington!**

_Lord Tubbington! Be nice to the Dolphin-Bird! He makes our Kurtie happy!_

**Thank you Brittney.**

Meow.

_Lord Tubbington says he's sorry._

**It's okay, I forgive him.**

_Well that's all the time we have today, I have to go teach Charity how to drive. _

Meow!

_No Lord Tubbington, I taught you how to read last week. It's Charity's turn._

**Ummmm….. Brittney? **

_Bye Dolphin-bird! I hope your and Kurtie's babies are dolphins too!_

Meow!

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><p>Ahh! that was really bad! D: I just really needed to get that out of my head so I could work on a real story. If you like it, I may add more chapters with interviews with other charactors... thats just a big fat MAYBE though. As always reviews are awesomesauce!<p>

oh! I almost forgot! I made a Twitter. Follow me for updates on stories :) Bracelets725

sooo yeah! Bye now! :)


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